Monday, November 17, 2008

canvas of life

everyday life opens
a brand new blank canvas
gessoed and ready to paint
just like you want
the palette of colours
you choose decides
how warm or cold your painting will be
burnt umber
ultramarine blue
cadmium reds
deep Indian yellow
hues, a rainbow of hues
true to the passion you feel
heart thumps
heavy with thrill
of approaching a new unknown
dimension…
direction
that you may or may not seek
strokes of filbert
flat or round
ensure your tracks on canvas
are treaded with texture
smooth or rough
matt or shine
fast or slow
this painting will complete
by today before you know…

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

frog who turned into pulp

i want to be a prince again
come, kiss me pronto
my future queen
eh, slowly sweetie
kiss me gently
don’t rupture my spleen
i do want to be a prince again
just like before
but not without my shine
i love you, honey, really do
don’t leave me alone
in this state of a whine

just tickle my belly a little
tweak my legs a degree
and cajole me to seduce my love a ballad
yeah, yeah, i am not a prince
anymore, therefore
my song is worse than a Chinese salad

i want to be a prince again
hold me, eh, don’t fold me
in, before i have transformed into my old self
and yo, what are you up to
your stiletto is approaching my slimy back
yo, don’t, don’t crush me, pierce me or i surely will yelp!
ouch!

Monday, November 10, 2008

not so dull life

2008-11-10-not-so-dull-life

be sweet tomorrow

freak out today so that you can be
sweet tomorrow
when your hairs turn grey and disappear
love as much as you can today
before bitter memories
bite like frost frozen on window panes
“hey, i told you so,”
someone will come and tell you
when you fail to listen and do as you are told
and when life flashes by in quick frames
and you seem to smile
when you want to cry
and you seem to laugh
when frowns are the only way to get by
dream today so that you can be
sweet tomorrow
when you have no dreams to sweeten your soul
laugh as much as you want today
before the moth of loneliness
starts hovering over your distant eyes
and when they start yelling
instead talking sweetly
just blink your eyes ever so slowly
let you hands fall down limply
and cough till your sputter geriatric saliva
all over whoever is yelling
and they will disappear together with their discords
…once they are gone,
breathe again
and be sweet to yourself
tomorrow when the world is sour
and everything moves in a blur
so fast, that you want
to lie down against the parched tree trunk
and wait for your turn…
but till then
freak out today so that you can be
sweet tomorrow
if not to the big bad world
at least to yourself

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

long gone home

home
we have been gone
far away for long
but you,
are not waiting for us,
are you?
have plots of mind
awaiting your development
from foundation to foundation
from wall to wall
from roof to roof
from window to window, and
from door to door
we long
to imagine the colour of your plaster
the paint of your door frame
and the soft bristles of lush green of grass
under bare feet – tiny and adult alike –
yes, it’s been a while
and enough so to speak
now come to us for good
stay on…and don’t desert us anymore
we have been homeless orphans without you
and it’s about time
that you set it right
come and embrace us,
let us cling to you for a lifetime
of happiness
and a lifetime of cherished memories
come, we beckon you
we coax you…
to come to us.
now.

Friday, October 24, 2008

silly clouds and an umbrella

sunshine where have you gone
it’s been a while
since the sun shone
like a hot ball of tropical fire
all the heat waves
seems to have been kidnapped
by grey, dark grey and darker grey
clouds
looming ominously
without any linings
silver or otherwise
if they were mere spectators
standing by
enjoying the going-ons
i wouldn’t mind
but they are howling
roaring
and generally pissing around
dropping an enormous amount of
…well…rain
and that is my bother
you see…
I absolutely abhor
carrying a silly brolly!

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

apple tree

2008-10-21-apple-tree

mourning wife

a man died yesterday
he left behind many grieving loved ones
and a mourning wife, who
really didn’t love him
at all
she had loved him
when he was a husband
loving and caring for her,
sharing her smiles and frowns,
listening to her inconsequential
and yet substantial
little whines – about
vegetables, milk, neighbourhood housewives
mother-in-law and television
one day he returned home
late
drunk
exhausted
and with a lipstick mark
smouldering like a embryonic ember
on the right shoulder of his pin-striped shirt
he begged, when she demanded an explanation,
seeked her forgiveness; and
was granted one; and all seemed well once again
till the embers returned sometime later
this time in the form of a few strands of hair
which definitely didn’t belong to her, or him
there were tears, there were wars
there were a few tacit scratched
on her tormented mind; and
on his bruised back
but a truce was called for and
dust settled on the rusting coupling
but not for long…
…till in the end it didn’t matter at all
apologies evaporated
together with feelings
and what remained was just
a mere arrangement…for the sake of children
and society
the fury, masked by her face – smile-less and blank –
roared in her heart with each evidence of misadventures
then he died – not an easy and immediate death -
sliced by a psychopath’s sharp knife
not once but a few times, till a criss-cross of negation
was marked all over his philandering body
the device of his sins
was chopped off and left to decay by his side
together with his tongue – which MUST have uttered
endearments not meant for her
his eyes – admiring eyes that pried on beautiful surfaces –
were scooped out without finesse
his fingers were chopped too
leaving behind ugly blunt stumps on his hands
which deviated and caressed the wrong curves
but he was left breathing,
bearing witness to his own crimes
he wanted to die – yes, he told her so himself many times while he survived –
but someone called for an ambulance
and rushed him to hospital
where they revived him
and helped him live a life less ordinary
than before.
he lived – like a dead animal – for a few weeks
agonizing, painful weeks those –
and in between the apologies returned –
this time from his heart
but she didn’t once say that she had forgiven her
though he begged her, beseeched her
with his horrible, faceless face and useless body
even till a moment before he –
crouched in pain and shrouded in utter darkness
- finally died yesterday
people wonder, will wonder for a long time,
who could have done a deed so heinous
for such a wonderful man.
only his mourning wife could tell…

Monday, October 13, 2008

never mind a little sweat

sweat it out this afternoon
so you can sleep well tonight
mind you though -
the sweat is not be a mere trickle
it must be a stream that runs dry
caking salty layers upon your temples
fine lines on the nape of your neck
and watermarks on your black tee
run, run, and run wild
with summersaults
and hangings from the monkey bars
run like lola ran
in run lola run
run like bourne ran
in bourne identity
run like tom runs after jerry
run like missiles chasing innocent bystanders in Iraq
run like a pack of wild dogs after a “poacher’s” car
in an indian national park
run like obama is running to be president
run like the seven dwarfs ran around snow white
run like the cheetah hunting for dinner
or just run like a man running in front of a swarm of stinging bees
just run…
and yeah, while you are running,
never mind a little sweat

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

a little boy and his seeds

the little boy
observed the little green seeds
intently for the hundredth time
in his outstretched, taut
little palm
he was pained to see
that they had not
become plants yet again
then he put them back
in the little plastic container
filled with water,
went around running
crazily, crashing into doors
and throwing tantrums
and things at a pace
his parents could neither cope with
nor understand.
then after 20 minutes or so
having spent just a miniscule of his
boundless, fathomless,
bundle of energy
he was back in the empty room
his plump, dexterous fingers
extracting, scooping
the tired seeds out of their sanctuary yet again
he placed them one by one
on his soft palm, slippery with water –
and, again he wondered
why his seeds had not become plants still…

Saturday, October 04, 2008

the blue bottle [to see]

2008-10-04-the-blue-bottle

the blue bottle [to read]

oh i can’t even fathom
how to tell you
how the blue bottle haunted me!
days in and nights out
it hovered above my head
hanging just an inch above
my hairline
by an invisible thread
it bumped my head hard
each time I got up
without intending to
sometimes it swayed and poured
unheard, unsmelt, unseen, untasted
drops on my ears,
eyes, nose and even mouth
i cursed myself
for having patronized the thought
of a blue bottle
how it metamorphed from a blue bottle
to THE blue bottle
i haven’t the faintest clue
but it surely got stuck to me
with a very sticky glue
now that i have transferred
it from my mind to paper
and to cyberspace
hopefully it won’t make
lie sleeplessly awake

Monday, September 29, 2008

afternoon

on a hot sleepy afternoon
it’s unbearable if not impossible
to walk outside
even under trees laden with tiny green leaves
nothing moves – no leaf, no blade of grass
until a speeding bus
unsettles the dust along the road
breaking the monotony
and, a torrent of much needed air
even though warm
dried leaves and branches rustle
along the pavement
in a rush to reach for distant shadows
bus gone, silence returns
broken again by lonesome footsteps
crushing whatever lies underneath
a crow crows above,
sounding the alarm of the approaching stranger
to others of its ilk
footsteps continue
gradually growing distant & distant
till they become inaudible
once again,
the much agreeable
silence returns to the street

Saturday, September 27, 2008

love, expressed

in just a glance
i was killed
merely a look
no words
…to convey an emotion, or
…to clear an illusion
it was the wind
that rushed to caress my cold face
after ruffling that slender nape
it was indeed that wind that
made warm love gush in my veins
throbbing my warm, reddened ears
and dilating my pupils despite the chill
my eyes watered,
dazzled by the first snow of the winter
titanium bright white
as the cobalt blue of the skies
smiled with some more snowflakes
pure and white
i licked my drying lips
rubbed my tender eyes
cleared my souring throat
just to express my newfound love
but my voice lost itself somewhere
near my larynx
and my love ended sounding like
the groan of a man with
a mutilated heart

Friday, September 19, 2008

the end

don’t speak
don’t talk
there’s nothing i would rather hear
i don’t want to listen to a single word
i just want to lie down idly…
gazing at the stars above…
my legs crossed over the knees…
exhilarated at the sight of moon…

all around, black abounds
darkness falls all over me
like soft, soundless soot from the sky
life goes by
so slowly,
hesitating, halting steps
indent my head, then chest,
then stomach and then legs
a tiny trickle of a mysterious drop
lands on my parched lips
from a cloud drifting far away, far-far away
just a drop and no more
just a lick and no more

o’ wind,
lisp a sweet lullaby
in my ears
and make me fall dead
when the end comes…

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

money, money

a dollar fits in my sweaty palm
two dollars fit easily too
three dollars are a bit of a squeeze
four dollars just cannot do

wads of dollars are even more
difficult to accommodate
it’s better to spend the little you have
and start afresh with a clean slate

wallets can fit a lot of cash
big denominations, especially
problem arises only when
you don’t possess any

sometimes you pay all the bills
and at times you pay a few
sometimes you dine on wine and cheese
at other times bread is all you can chew

break the molds, don’t break hearts
break the stupid piggy banks, o’ binks
count the golden eggs they hatch
and enjoy the omlette while the ship, slowly, sinks!

offering

2008-09-17-offering

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

rainbow

somewhere, behind the clouds
lies a rainbow bright
far away, behind the mountains
it stays out of sight
when we climb the mountains
slowly, it’s tiring
your legs are weak, honey
and you’re perspiring
just take a deep breath
and exhale
our journey will end
and our plan not fail
once we are over the peak
lo and behold
our dreams will come true
and miseries fold
here, hold on my hand
we are on a cliff
just midway to the top
don’t get your back stiff
feel the cold wind
caressing your face
enjoy the lovely views
before we win the race
there, o’ my dear
it’s a just a few steps more
lean on my shoulder
for I have never loved you more

Friday, August 22, 2008

you

rain against the window pane
whispers vaguely familiar songs
and sweet, fond memories flash back
of you and me, sitting together
huddled in front of the wired heater
fanning wafts of hot air in our faces
flushed with old monk and coke
orange-hued fried battered fish
stared back at us from oil-stained newspaper
together with mint-chutney, laced with blood-curdling
unbearably hot, yet unavoidable green chillies
the warmth of indoors disappeared
the instant we stepped out
in the frosted december night
those lovely walks on
the deserted tar road in corbett
between dhikala and bijrani…
those silly moments of lying down
on the dry, cold road carrying tyre-prints
of infinite vehicles that thundered along
and the possibility of having your back against
a spot where a beautiful, serene wild thing
may have crossed the road for a thirst-quenching
gulp of water from ravishingly charming,
kosi flowing deceptively innocuously
between pebbles smoothened by centuries of
caresses by nature’s wet hands…
those memories of our time together
are tattooed in my heart immortally
and will always be there for me to cherish,
just as you, my love, i hope, i pray
stay beside me till my last breath.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

chase them...chase them

i want something from life
and, i’d say, so does the wife
but it’s elusive so far, to say the least
a beauty being chased by a beast
someday, i pray, we will catch
up, and hopefully our eggs will hatch
is it enough to have a dream?
even though far away it may seem
in the journey to the destination
lies really the whole fascination
chasing dreams is an exotic sensation
but not dreaming is like annihilation
to chase our dreams, let’s walk or jog or run
but if we stop dead life will be no fun

Friday, August 15, 2008

what price independence?

offsprings, siblings, parents
domestic helpers, gardeners, suppliers, et al
pets - dogs, cats, fish, turtles and snakes
are they independent...
what is independence...
what is freedom...
what is liberty...
if not words that hold no real meanings
we are bound - arms, hands, hearts and heads
every which way can be conceived

the hackles of debt...
ummm...now that independence
can surely bring a soothing calm
but for how long?

prohibited by law...
when it stops a crime, it's wonderful
but when it stops me from speeding, it's horrendous

impositions by society...
again, for me it works
against me, it doesn't

criticism...
freedom of others' speech is not that liberating,
or, is it really?

chained by love...
at least that is a dependence that we love
now, don't we!

Thursday, August 14, 2008

aftermath of a bloodbath

2008-08-15-aftermath-of-a-b

almost meltdown

the sun is melting
the molten lava of its heat
is sending trickles of scalding
hot perspiration down my bare back
the heat is turning me blue
from exhaustion
but my palms are dry
and so is my head
for,
you, my dear,
are cooling me down
with the shadow of your long tresses

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

are you dying?

everything has its place and time
i am still searching for mine
one day sitting on a mountain high
i will wonder, my legs dangling, while
ever so slowly time slips by
and my saline tears run dry
where did you run to my time? to set you free, was that a crime?
love has nothing to do with the state of mind
what really makes it stop is the grind
without this grind and whine
it's impossible to shine
through life and get by
otherwise you can only cry
sigh,
and die!

Friday, July 25, 2008

tiny silhouette...small footprints

small footprints on the mud track
move uphill laboriously
the deep impressions implying a huge burden
on tiny shoulders barely big
enough to carry a petite head
the setting sun indicating
that indeed it must have been a long
tiring day, and
a long gruesome journey
impressions of small drops of sweat -
dried-up under the still scorching sun -
provide evidence of immense effort
then...
...the silhouette
of a child
- young enough to be cradled
in loving arms of a mother, or
father
- nimble enough to tread the chalk-imprinted
rectangles of hop-scotch
- innocent enough to plead for sugar-laden
sweets and chocolates
crumbling under the stack of firewood,
dragging heavily towards the hut
still some distance away.

i shed a well-fed tear, and
quickly retreated in shame...
in cowardice...
of leaving a helpless angel
to fend itself
...from...
a ridicule of a word called humanity

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

too much colour will kill you

2008-June-too_much_colour_w

a life a little less colourful
ain't a life less lived
or less inclusive
or any less ordinary than anyone else...
but too much colour will kill you
if you splash it too much
on the other hand
too little colour will not make you immortal either
so use colour at your own discretion

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

if there's a goddess, it's you...

2008-May13

when i am feeling lonely
when all my leaves have
turned yellow and died...

when my heart beats in pain
and all my tears have
melted and dried...

when my ears tingle with fear
and the hair on my nape
bristle with trite...

when my stomach hurls inwards
with heartache, heartburn
no matter what medicine i tried...

when my finger tremble, hands shake
joints rattle, bones crackle
and my bone marrow has dried...

when my children leave me exasperated
with their whines, pleas,
and incessant wails and cries...

when my eyes brim with unshed tears
scorching me with intense heat
from nightmares and futures untried...

it's you, only you, i can turn to

you are the one,
my only one in this whole wide world
who loves me
with conditions or not
with expectations or not
with lamentations or not
with indentations or not
with experimentations or not
with fruitions or not

...and love for me
is in your presence...
and beseeching...

if there's a goddess looking out for me
if there's a guardian angel holding my hand
it's you...

Sunday, April 27, 2008

April27-2008

contact me at anirudhs31@gmail.com if you would like to purchase this image.
april26-2008

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

monday

i forgot to wear a frown today
it was clumsy
of me to do so
especially because it was a wet, rainy day
but because it was grey
i couldn’t make me feel blue
however hard i tried
i felt not unhappy
not sad, mournful or irritated
disjointed?
maybe.
but full of sorrow and pity for myself
i was not
there were many
who tried to make me
not make me likeable, amicable
but they failed
miserably, if i can say
i sat, my cheeks and chin in my hands
and wondered…if everything was the way
it should be
it wasn’t
it couldn’t
but even that thought didn’t make me flutter
away from my grin
butterflies flitted nervously
inside my stomach and the lower intestines
but i braved on
and survived the doomsday that comes
every week, weekend after weekend
on monday.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

mutilated heart

mutilated-heart[mar08]

splash some blues
bring on some clues
gone is the bright red
the victim is lying on his bed
he was not so bad in the start
till she mutilated his heart!

(Contact me at anirudhs31@gmail.com if you would like to purchase this image.)

Thursday, March 13, 2008

my star...

march08

is unwinding
      sharply
i can feel its movement in
    dreams of future
  nightmares from past
and a flush
rubs my heart tenderly
      go
          really
            far far
        away
that's all it seems to say
lie down under a jasmine tree
shaded with fragrance of love
not that it matters
but the fear is fading
          or the nerves are too numb to feel
never mind
soldier; destiny will take you
                somewhere
        really
      far far
            away
in a land framed by beautiful pine
trees; shedding leaves
as beautiful; and as sad
as spinsters uprooted from arms of fathers; brothers
extended families.
  star?
unwind...
        rewind
        for as long as you like
i will lay, slain or otherwise
on my bed with my entwined half
              my muse
              my consort
              my recourse
      my surrender
      my defense
      my soul mate
            with deep breaths heaving our chest
            half-parted mouths exhaling tenderness
            warm bodies
limbs damp
with sheen of satiation...

Monday, March 10, 2008

cosmically bound

the warmth of your cheeks
warms my heart
when my lips caress
luxuriating
intoxicating
inviting
you enter my world
of dreams; just like snow white
egrets; huddled at the bank of
a stream; waiting with prying eyes
for a mouthful of fish
i wait
too; not in a hurry but
eagerly nonetheless.

blinking eyes
hesitating breaths
trembling digits and
thundering heartbeats
beckon; me to you, and you to me –
all signals go; and move made
i lie low; backed by a supine spine
shivering every now and then
with a tingle; unmistakable
the teardrops on my tongue
and the lumps in my stomach
no…nothing fades with the dimmed light
sun shines through the night
stars shine through the bright, warm day
through rains, through downpours and
storms unleashed from the silver windows
framing dark clouds high above…
…unperturbed, we lay entwined, you and me
my back to your front and your bosom to my chest
love blossoms
in frosting winter; bordering on the slowly blooming
spring; is it here already?
our souls were hibernating, longer than
required by the lords of litigation –
retrograde venus, eclipsed mars, and of course
bright, yellow jupiter breathing
harsh dust out of its benevolent
cosmic karma…uniting us, in our incompatibilities…

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

your star...

my-star[feb08]

your star is shining
somewhere
not very far
behind the mist
someplace
not beyond reach
just within your grasp

it's delayed, did you say?

maybe it's lighting the path
of your guardian angel
who's on his way
to guard you
maybe it's honing its shine
to illuminate
your life when it's time

so don't whine
and enjoy your wine!
while the sun shines
because your star will arrive
only when there is real darkness

you want you star
right now, right here?
maybe you do...
but do you badly NEED it now?
not really, right?

go back to your wine, then...

Saturday, February 23, 2008

deal

one minute
an eternity holds
cold-bloodedly murdered dreams
wake up slowly
to haunt me as nightmares
i look at you
from my crouched position
for help
but you feign disinterest
busy ruffling your dogs'
fluffed, shampooed hair as you are
i crawl towards my escape,
through the door to the kitchen,
then through the refrigerator
but the kittens outnumber me again
hissing and spitting back at me
with each step i move further
the tiny, venom-frothing rascals
those soldiers of yours!
but my renewed promise
straight from the heart et al
is a warning
that i will attempt my escape again
night after every sunset
new moon or full
stars or none
clear bejwelled humid skies
or breezy, cloudy ones
one drink a night,
i like
and only with that in my hand
will i play with your dogs together.
deal?

smiles, let them come easily

i don’t want to rush, my dear
let’s just hold hands
and walk quietly, amidst
nature – pristine and pure
– as, and when, first created

let soft white sands caress our bare soles
let our souls breathe, live,
just the way
it was surely meant to be.

let satin sheets glide off my shins
let the silk robes intoxicate my love for you
let champagne toast our togetherness
far from the madd(en)ing crowds
yet, not far from our cozy hearth

my dear, till you stepped into my life,
i never felt loved at all
but since we stepped in this haven together
it is finally, my turn to smile.

rain distressed

water in that fall
didn't appreciate
getting wet
in an unseasoned rain
and that too in winter

his teeth clattered
his tongue lisped
and his nostrils exhaled
blue mist of the wet cold

smoothened dents
in the stones at his feet
where he had let his watery arms flow
for years, decades or even centuries immemorial
complained tacitly
in rheumy, gout-ridden voices

tears welled up
as he shivered uncontrollably once more
but soon he gratefully rinsed them
in his rushing torrents
just when the skies cleared to ease his suffering

Friday, January 18, 2008

beneath

behind-the-facade

where are you
where are all the ones i know
where are my dreams
where are my nightmares
where are all my sufferings and joys
where are my tears
where are your smiles
where are all our fingers clasped together
where are the letters i never opened
where are the ones i tore away
where are all the notes i scribbled to you, alone in bed
where are the dregs of tea from you cup
where is the single cultured pearl you won free
where are our infinite futures together
where is our home, with vines and trees and flowers and fence
where are your dogs - bobby and rascal
where are all the toys of our boys
where are the lime-sandalwood-pine-and-ginger perfumes
where are the gold-plated one-faced rudrakhsh seeds
where is my lucky lottery ticket
where is my ergonomically-designed office chair
where is my wedding band, bought at $400 from thailand
and where, my dear, am i...
beneath all the layers in this picture?

Monday, January 14, 2008

a private universe

universe[jan08]

little planets
in this privatised solar system
can grow
to immense proportions.
older planets
having seen time through
infinite light-years
shrink
till they become hybrid atoms
full unused, pent up energy
groggy with intoxication
of mature, liquefied gases and...
romancing, all-embracing
meteors...
the ageing planets
release the neurons of their dying cells
like dandelions in summer
wafting past galaxies
known and unknown -
then, when
bereft of everything else
they are left breathing with
their last living cell
they explode, shatter and dissipate
leaving behind ample
space for their offspring
to occupy clumsily.

Friday, January 11, 2008

january eleven, twenty o' eight

it was 11 november 2001
when met for the first time!
surrounded by noisy but beautiful
darkness of corbett,
fireflies cast flickering lights
against the blue black sky
as moths whooshed past us
inebriated with mating lust
crickets created a cacophony
like a distant tribal ritual ceremony
voices floated around us
as we were pushed to each
other's embrace by forces
beyond our control.
that touch skin against skin,
hands against hands
- that very first touch -
is etched in my memory
now and forever, even though it was
devoid of colours and forms.
the name, when announced,
resonated, like an echo
from far away dear mountains
shading us from the wild unknown,
reckoning,
at times, to come hither
on the first steps to the shivalik foothills
we met, then.

dangerously deep, steep valleys
ravines, creeks and cliffs
later...
...happy anniversary darling!


YudhisArt

inspired by yudhi's imagination and directed by the little packet's bouncy energy.